An excerpt  from Michael Deacon’s column in today’s Daily Telegraph which rather appealed to moi.

HOW TO SPOT A TORY:

“Recognising a Tory is usually very simple. They have green scin, red eyes, scales,claws, pointy tails and big sharp fangs, which they use to eat the poor. They are all very ugly.

Some Tories, however, are cunning, and disguise themselves as human beings. If you suspect someone of being a secret Tory, pull their hair or scratch their skin to see if it comes off.”

WHAT TO DO IF YOU MEET A TORY:

“If a Tory smiles at you, or tries to engage you in conversation, do not be fooled. They are simply trying to covert you to evil. Fall for their superficial charm,and within five minutes you’ll be joining them in an ancient Tory tribal ritual that ends in burning a mountain of £50 notes below a cage full of weeping shoeless children.”

I think you will have got the gist of this sad song by now – Don’t sing it too loudly will you.